Poems I might have written

Louise Carson

1

You were everything to aim for.

Only to touch you –

Later, ennui.

Snowflakes fall between glass and sun’s glow.

2

Full-throated agony kept landlady, neighbours awake,

wore down my teeth.

Detached, silent house. Muffled majority.

One quarter of my heart sobs on.

3

Depression took pills and alcohol,

foreshadowed cousin’s later death.

Vomit dries on floor.

Scrubbing brush wakes me up.

4

Oh, shame. A few beatings,

a couple of slaps.

Love-need.

Choked off.

5

Pelvic bones ache, loosen, at the thought of her.

Leaving, she entered me.

Even this deepest love,

changes.

6

Sometimes the old win the wars,

take possession.

But the young have hours.

Their bodies heat the room.

7

Dread, the hunched supervisor, waits to crush hope.

It will take me over again.

Be calm.

All love must lie down and doze.

8

Then what are tears? Sweet homage, ghost gifts,

liquid feelings.

Eye-wash to loosen grit.

Heart’s anti-freeze.

Image: Harry Rajchgot (2023)